(Trigger warning: suicide. If you or someone you know are struggling go here for help.)
This morning I found out that an old acquaintance of mine had decided to end her life. My heart goes out to her family and people that love her.
While I do not know the circumstances of her passing I do know that for many, especially deeply sensitive people, it’s quite hard to be human right now.
Many people I’ve spoken with are suffering deeply and I feel weary in my soul as I’m writing these words.
Personally, I’m ok. I’m going slow, breathing, and currently lean a lot on nature, my divine parents (as I experience God), my husband, my family, and my wonderful friends.
I’m taking frequent breaks and am sleeping as much as I can. I eat nourishing food. Take walks in nature and read. I am privileged to be able to do all these things and I know it.
But still, I feel the heaviness around me and I cannot deny its presence.
So today I am not coming with any tools or observations but with my open heart, a poem, and my blessings to you if you too feel scared, sad, lonely, or confused.
What am I?
When the dark envelops you
And it feels unbearable to go on
And your tears are the only abundance you see
I am those tears setting you free
When the things that once felt solid
Now are falling apart
And you look down and there is nothing to stand on
I am the invisible foundation
When the loneliness threatens to take your breath
And it hurts to wake up to another day
And nothing makes sense to your terrorized mind
I am the one that’s never left you behind
When sanity is slipping away
And the outside world is full of threats
And your body has betrayed you again
I am the place where you don’t have to pretend
When life doesn’t feel worth living
And people are cruel and unkind
And the whole thing seems utterly pointless
I am the one who strokes your cheek with a gentle caress
I am what is
What is will change
All that’s required is another breath
Put it all down my love
If but for a moment
Come rest in my infinite embrace
Because in what I am you will always find grace
Let be kind to one another. Let’s hold each other close. And let’s see if we can allow something bigger than us to hold the hard stuff for a little while.
We got this, together. And if you feel like we don’t, it’s important to get professional help.
With ocean-deep love,
Karna