Time To Say Goodbye
The painful side of spiritual growth and healing
They often don't discuss the aspect of healing and growth where you have to part ways with certain people.
“We grew apart.”
It sounds so tranquil. It evokes an image of two branches on a tree that found sunlight from different angles and simply grew in opposite directions.
But the true process of healing — moving from a space where you once connected from an unhealthy place to one where you've grown and can no longer bear that same connection — can be deeply challenging.
I once believed that my healing journey would lead me to a state of enlightenment. In this state, I imagined I'd be so whole and at peace that the actions of those around me would barely affect me. I thought I would reach a level where others' behaviors would neither hurt nor disturb me.
That wasn't the reality.
Instead, as I healed, certain behaviors became intolerable. I became intensely aware of when someone else's behavior clashed with my essence.
This isn't about being triggered.
A trigger arises when another's actions touch a raw, unhealed part of you. What I'm discussing here is when another's unresolved issues clash with a part of me that aligns with my personal truth and broader truths about love.
Faced with this, I have choices. I can assess the history I have with this person, determining if this behavior is an anomaly or a recurring theme. I can introspect and make changes within myself or address the situation with the other person.
Yet there's another choice: realizing I can't endure this specific behavior any longer. It's not out of malice but out of profound self-love and understanding that I've already tried to mend or understand this issue before, and it does not work.
There comes a point where my love for myself and my understanding of human relationships inform me that the best choice is to part ways with someone, albeit with love.
However, this decision is never devoid of pain.
For my past self, facing rejection has felt easier than being the one who initiates the distancing. My past conditioned me – groomed me – to appease those around me to ensure my survival and belonging within my family and friend group. While I know the initiation of parting ways stems from a place of love, I also know it often feels like rejection or abandonment to the other.
To be the one to say “no more” feels unnatural, as if I'm trying to breathe underwater. It feels inherently wrong.
Yet, over time, I've learned to recognize that such discomfort, that gut-wrenching feeling, often signals I'm making the right choice.
It's a paradox that has shaped my human experience: Sometimes, the most loving act can feel overwhelmingly painful.
This truth has been hard for me to understand and accept, so I’m sharing it, hoping it might resonate and help you.
With love,
Karna 💜
<3 <3 <3
This really resonated with me. I've stayed far to long in relationships that became less aligned with who I was at the time and who I was becoming.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.