I woke up last night at 2:25 am and started crying. I cried for the sheer brutality of human existence, and I cried with joy and gratitude.
2022 has been the year I broke the chains of codependency and learned to treat myself with respect.
When I look back at what I co-created this year, I realize that celebrations are in order!
I want to invite both you and me to make three lists:
1️⃣ One list of the things you want to celebrate.
2️⃣ One list of things you’re letting go of.
3️⃣ One list of things you’re inviting in.
Below are mine!
🥳 I celebrate that I
Ran my OWN company for the first time, focusing my energy on building my thing instead of someone else’s.
Hurt my knees (by over-doing it it my yoga practice) and listened to my body deeply enough to mostly heal them again.
Cried almost every day of either joy and gratitude or sadness and pain.
Learned to allow grief back into my life as the powerful ally and essential aspect of life it is.
Hit all the financial goals I set for the year: I paid my bills, contributed to some organizations I support, maxed out my Roth IRA, replenished my “Rainy Day” savings account with three months of living expenses that was drained the year before in some painful ways, and saved monthly for my children.
Realized my dream of becoming a dance teacher. I start at The Suite Studio in January!!
Surrendered more than ever to allow life to bring me opportunities and unfold in its magnificence instead of chasing after it and trying to control it.
Got better at asking for what I need and seeing from love and truth instead of blaming others, myself, or God/Life.
Worked ONLY with people who I love, respect, or believe in.
Learned to allow my husband in a little bit deeper into my heart and allow myself to feel like our relationship is enough and quite beautiful (I’m a chronic “optimizer,” and I’ve had a hard time finding contentment in the past.)
Finally hired help for my business and released the perfectionism that’s been keeping me stuck and overworking.
Surrendered constantly trying to perform and produce and found my way back to the joy of the present moment, nature and my children = true wealth.
👋 Here’s what I’m leaving behind in 2022 and letting go of:
Putting other people’s needs before my own (except my children’s).
People who must create drama in their life, including that part of me (I still bless them from over here.)
The need to be understood and liked by others (I will forget this sometimes and that’s ok.)
Worrying about what’s going to happen (def will need to keep releasing this one.)
Perfectionism.
Soldiering on and taking on extra work when I don’t have the capacity to make sure I have more money.
Constantly optimizing my time.
Expecting things without requesting.
The idea that money will magically make me feel like life is worth living (Can you tell I’ve been working on money stuff…)
Hopefully, the weird face rash that I have going on. 😂
Deeper layers of fat phobia.
🎁 What I’m inviting in:
Listening deeply to my body and honoring her needs.
Weekly dancing (unless too tired.)
Spontaneous mini adventures.
Even deeper trust in Love, God(dess), and Life.
A trip to Guatemala in January with my daughter and 20+ epic women and kids through Threads Worldwide! (EEEEK!)
Launching a membership for soul-centered entrepreneurs that will allow them to build a solid business and marketing foundation with my help.
Doing a TEDx talk in Portsmouth and healing from PTDS and thriving in life. (I applied - we shall see if they accept me.)
Having more money than my basic needs being met.
Resting and quiet time as essential aspects of my daily life.
New fun opportunities to share my ideas and experiences with the goal of more freedom and healing for myself and everyone else.
My libido and turn on.
Lots of nature time.
Believing in myself.
Being OK to go after my dreams and not getting it right the first time.
Fun times with friends! (Remember FUN?!)
#Blessed
YUM! I am just so (disgustingly) blessed and grateful. Everywhere I turn there are people who genuinely care about themselves, me, others, and the planet. Brilliant friends and colleagues lavish me with love and support. For this I am so very thankful.
Exhibit A:
After crying, comforting, and holding myself in the night, I opened my phone to turn on some music when I saw this poem from a friend. And I asked her if I could share it with you. She said I could.
How freaking brilliant is she?
And then, when I woke up this morning, I had this message waiting from my dear soulmate and friend Charlotte.
The part Swedish in reads:
“Thanks for going on this journey with me.”
“Good morning, dearheart.”
I am rich in the things that matter to me, and I do not take any of them for granted.
Because my life wasn’t always like this. I was addicted to helping others and filling my life with their needs, not having to feel my own pain. I woke up daily with anxiety. I was riddled with self-doubt, and felt tortured on the inside.
I want this message to be a testament that things - horrible things - can get better, and with small, small steps, we can get closer to a life that feels bearable, even enjoyable, where we feel like we matter and like waking up in the morning.
I send you many blessings this holiday season and in 2023!
Big Love 💜
Karna
What I’m leaving behind in 2022 ✌️